The Question of Sex
by Gargantua
Summary: The Doctor locks horns with the TARDIS. Honestly, he should have known better…
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

"And now I present to you, The Colossus!" The Doctor opened the door of the TARDIS wide with a dramatic flourish and walked outside backwards; his leather-clad arms spread wide, his steps confident, and rightly so. He had, after all, calculated the exact spot to land that would provide the best and most soulful vantage from which to view this wonder of the Earth. He had even gone so far as to pinpoint the best time of day to the millisecond to watch the setting sun behind the statue; its dying light glinting spectacularly off the burnished bronze figure of Helios presiding over the harbor of Rhodes.

This would be sure to impress Rose. The added benefit of showing how much better he was than the fake captain and conman they had taken on board was just icing on the cake.

Rose and Jack followed him out of the TARDIS and onto the rocky ledge. The Doctor anxiously awaited her reaction. He studied her face intently, not wanting to miss the slightest hint of wonder and delight; the widened the eyes, the mouth that dropped open into a surprised oval, the hitch of surprised breath. All of which he was certain would be followed by his Rose flinging her arms round him and showering him with praises and adoration.

Take that "_Captain_"!

The Doctor was so tense with anticipation; he was nearly rocking on his toes.

"Wow, Doc. I never would have guessed you knew about sights like these," said an appreciative Jack.

It was an odd comment, coming from Jack. He knew full well that the Doctor had the width and breadth of space and time at his disposal. Then again, Jack did have an overactive libido and the statue was naked, so perhaps the comment was not as strange as it first appeared.

The Doctor dismissed Jack's comment as unimportant and returned his focus to Rose. As he had predicted, her eyes were wide with surprise, and her mouth was formed into a delicate shape of wonder. The surprised breath, however, sounded more like a choked wheeze than a gasp of pleasure. The Doctor surmised she must have swallowed a bug, but that didn't explain the heated blush that rose onto her cheeks.

Then, to his surprise, Rose cocked her head to the right, as if changing the angle would give her a better understanding of what she was looking at.

"Are they….," she started uncertainly. "Surely that's not….." Rose paused again, before finally straightening and pointing at something in the distance. "Is that even possible?"

"Which one?" asked Jack, following the direction of her finger. "Ah!" he murmured. "That one is only possible with a species that has a double jointed hip. Pity."

The Doctor suspected that something had gone horribly awry with his brilliant plan. Slowly, his arms dropped to his sides and he craned his head over his shoulder. His body followed until he stood facing what was, in fact, not the Colossus.

Countless hands had worked over many generations to shear off one side of an entire mountain range. And upon the flattened surface, carved in intricate bas-relief were countless 20 foot high figures copulating in every conceivable position known to the universe. The carvings stretched as far as the eye could see and beyond, the very rock transformed into a loud exaltation of the pleasures of the flesh.

"What?" asked the Doctor, dumbfounded. He most decidedly had not programmed the coordinates into the TARDIS navigation computer that would have landed them before these rock reliefs. After a moment of blank staring, exactly what his eyes were seeing caught up with his brain and a flush crept up his neck and into his ears.

"Now that one," came Jack's leering voice, "is definitely possible for two humanoids."

"Which?" asked Rose.

"Third from the left."

There was a pause and then Rose asked doubtfully, "Are you sure?"

"Absolutely! How 'bout it beautiful," said Jack sidling closer to her. "Wanna try it?"

Rose, who was studying the carving and did not notice either Jack's sudden proximity or the suggestive lift of his eyebrows, asked in a soft puzzled voice, "But where do the tentacles go?"

"Right!" boomed the Doctor, loud enough to create an impressive echo that bounced off the mountainside. Both of his companions jumped at the sudden loud noise, focusing as one on the Doctor. The same Doctor whose hands were balled into fists at his sides, whose shoulders were tight with tension, and whose ears were glowing an angry red.

"Tour's over," the Doctor said abruptly. "Everyone back on the bus."

"Awww," said Jack with genuine disappointment. "We just got here and you want to leave already? What's the rush?"

Jack faced Rose, his features gleaming with anticipated pleasures. "This is Ahlbom," he said, ignoring the furious Time Lord. "They worship the fertility goddess Carna through the act of sex. Anytime, anywhere, anyway, anywhen, and with anyone!" Jack sounded as if he had just received every Christmas present he ever asked for all at once. "The worshipers of Carna are very devout," he added with a lascivious wink.

Rose couldn't help the flush that crossed her cheeks, or the shy, uncertain giggle she gave Jack's antics. Her merriment stopped cold, however, when she caught sight of the dark, fuming tower of Time Lord who was glaring at Jack with a murderous eye. "Jack," she started tentatively, "I don't think…."

"This is a dream come true!" Jack enthused. So caught up was he in the pornographic visions inside his own head that he completely ignored the warning.

"TARDIS! NOW!" erupted the Doctor.

Rose gave a squeak and ran back into the TARDIS. Jack waited until Rose had gone inside before giving the Doctor a slow knowing smile, then followed Rose without another word.

The Doctor stood alone outside his ship and glared. Drawing in a deep breath intended to calm the erratic beating of his hearts, he forced his balled fists to relax. Composure somewhat regained, he stomped into his ship and slammed the door behind him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

The Doctor strode purposefully through the door of the TARDIS towards the console, not sparing either of his companions a glance. Flipping switches and turning dials with haste, he sent the ship into the Vortex, all the while drowning his discomfort in a torrent of words.

"Not much to worry 'bout. Obviously some problem with the navigation control. We'll just sit in the Vortex a bit while I perform some jiggery pokery, and we'll be on our way in no time."

Once the Doctor was satisfied with their position within the Vortex, he practically dove under the console, welcoming the concealment. He immediately pulled the sonic screwdriver from his pocket and set about tinkering with the many wires, bolts, and circuitry above him.

"Will she be alright?" Rose asked with concern.

The Doctor's hands paused. "'Course she will. Genius, me. I can fix anything."

"Need a hand, Doc?" Jack offered.

"First," replied the Doctor, "I am not a rabbit with large ears…" A pregnant silence filled the TARDIS, only broken by the sound of someone having a coughing fit. The Doctor ignored it and continued, "Do not call me _Doc_!" The last word was filled with derision.

"OK," said Jack breathily, as if he were trying to contain a laugh. "Need a hand, _Doctor_?"

"Second," continued the Doctor, "You will not touch my TARDIS. Rassilon knows where those hands have been."

"Want me to show you?" offered Jack.

The Doctor snorted. "Not a cheap date, me. Now, leave so I can get this done."

"OK, OK," surrendered Jack. "We're leaving. No need to get your panties in a twist. Come on, Rose."

When the sound of their footsteps faded from the control room, the Doctor ceased tinkering, his hands coming to rest lightly on his chest. Slowly, the signs of tension eased; his ears stopped burning, and the muscles in his shoulders released. He stared at the underside of the console, brow furrowed.

The problem was not with the navigational computer, the time circuits or the dimensional stabilizers. In fact, for the first time he could easily remember, his ship was working exactly as she should. All her parts, even those that had been jury rigged, were humming along efficiently.

No, the problem was not with the mechanics of the ship. Instead, it was with the psychology of the ship. The soul of his TARDIS had her mind fixated on something, and she would continue to thwart him until he paid attention.

Typical woman. The Doctor gave a longsuffering sigh and closed his eyes, focusing on his ship.

"_What are you doing to me??_" he blasted, his frustration and embarrassment at the forefront of his mind. When the TARDIS responded with the psychic equivalent of a slap, he realized he had taken the wrong approach. He was going to have a headache later.

Backpedaling, he tried again. "S_orry. Tell me what's on your mind._"

The gentler tone received a more favorable response. Images of the Doctor and Rose filled his mind – laughing, holding hands, hugging, dancing – and he could feel the affection the ship had for his female companion.

It was a sentiment he shared, but he well knew the dangers of getting too attached. "_I like having Rose aboard as well_," he projected, "_but what does that have to do with you taking us to Albhom?_"

A wave of exasperation washed over him, followed by an empty chasm of aching loneliness. The Doctor could not stop the gasp of anguish that escaped him. He knew this type of loneliness; it haunted his dreams, and for that reason alone he avoided sleep as much as possible. It was a wild beast with sharp talons and razor-like teeth that threatened to consume him whole the moment he stopped running.

It had never occurred to him that his beloved ship felt the loss of Galifrey as much as he did, and the knowledge made him tremble. But before he lost himself to grief, the TARDIS again sent him images of himself and Rose together bathed in the golden feeling of love, tinged with the yawning expanse of time.

The Doctor felt he understood, and reached up to pat the TARDIS affectionately. Both he and his ship bore deep emotional scars from the Time War, and both recognized in Rose a chance for redemption. His ship wanted them to keep Rose forever, and while it was a nice sentiment, he knew it could never happen.

"_Rose is human. She won't stay with us for forever. She can't. But it'll be alright. We've got each other, yeah?_"

Another wave of frustration washed over him, and then the TARDIS sent him images of himself and Rose together in ways they most certainly had never been, in a wide variety of creative poses no less. The shift in mental communication startled him, and he jerked upward, banging his head on the underside of the console.

"Ow!" he said, raising a hand to his head. His eyes popped open and he rubbed his injury while glaring at his ship, forgetting to project his thoughts and instead uttering them aloud. "Stop that! It can't happen and you know it. She hasn't got forever, and I can't… Well, I just can't." He paused for a moment before adding, "But if you work with me, we can show her some fantastic things before she goes. Alright?"

The TARDIS did not reply, and the Doctor took her silence as assent. Shoving himself out from under the console, he hopped to his feet certain that he once again controlled his ship. One hand rose to rub his aching head. And once he got rid of this headache, he was positive he would think of the perfect place to take Rose next.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

The TARDIS materialized with a rattle and a thump, and two faces peered through the doorway into the control room.

"All fixed?" asked Rose.

"Did we land, or should we be panicking?" asked Jack.

The Doctor did not immediately respond. Although he was nearly certain that he and the TARDIS had worked things out and that she was now responding to his control, he still took the time to check the outdoor camera. The reflected image showed greenery and flowers, and there was nary a naked statue in sight.

"Well, what are you waiting for?" he demanded of his companions, who still hovered in the doorway, uncertain of their welcome. "I thought you lot wanted adventure."

Rose smiled; hesitantly at first, but soon her whole face lit up with excitement and pleasure. "Where are we?"

A flicker of disappointment crossed the Doctor's face, accompanied by a merry twinkle in his blue eyes. "You suddenly grow timid?"

Rose's smile grew even wider as her trainers slapped against the metal grating in her headlong rush to the door. The Doctor heard her gasp in astonishment followed by "Beautiful."

Casting a smug glance at Jack, the Doctor flipped a few more switches and exited the TARDIS, Jack following on his heels. "Like it?"

Rose whirled to face him and engulfed him in a hug. "It's fantastic!"

This was exactly the response he had been hoping for, and he relished every nuance of her delight – the feel of her arms around him, the rapid beating of her heart, the slide of skin against skin as she slipped her hand in his as if that was where her hand belonged.

Even Jack could not suppress the gleam of appreciation in his eyes and he gazed at the extensive variety of flora that stretched before him in a riot of shapes and colors. "The botanical gardens on Lobelia?" he asked.

The Doctor nodded. "Lobelia is unique, Rose," he said, not wanting to give Jack the chance to upstage him. "The soil here is unusually fertile, and the climate is well suited to growing plants of all kinds. The ancient peoples here were space explorers and took advantage of this by bringing back seeds and sprouts from all over the universe. Eventually, the entire planet transformed into a botanical garden."

Jack piped up, "Mind you, we'd probably best avoid the carnivorous plant exhibit."

"Yeah," agreed the Doctor, giving Rose's hand a squeeze. "Jeopardy-friendly, she is."

"Oi!" said Rose, digging her elbow into the Doctor's side. "You gonna show me around or stand here gabbing?"

"We can go, but no flower picking. We stick to path and leave things as we found them, yeah?"

"Yes sir," saluted Jack as Rose nodded.

With some good natured jostling and ribbing, the trio wandered the gardens – Rose wide-eyed with wonder, the Doctor clutching her hand, and Jack nodding appreciatively. The Doctor proved to be very knowledgeable about the plants on exhibit and the planets from which they came. Jack, on the other hand, demonstrated extensive knowledge of a different kind.

"You know," Jack said conversationally, "the fragrance of that particular flower is supposedly an aphrodisiac."

Rose stopped mid-sniff. "You having me on?"

Jack ignored the glare from the Doctor. "No. It's true. They also say that eating the leaves of that plant ensures hyper-fertility. You know triplets or more."

"More?" squeaked Rose and slowly backed away from the innocent looking orange bloom as if afraid it might bite.

The Doctor scoffed. "Jack, you know the effects only work on the Dog People of Garou."

"Jack!" Rose exclaimed before stomping over to him and punching him lightly on the arm.

"I'm just saying," Jack replied with a chuckle, lifting both hands in surrender. "Course, the violet one next to it is recognized on several planets as an offer to shag when presented as a gift." He waggled his eyebrows at Rose. "And when coupled with the blue one here," he gestured to the small blooms at his feet, "it becomes an offer of a committed life-long shagging partnership."

"You better stay away from that one, then," commented Rose with a snort. "One partner for life? You'd likely burst into flames."

Jack placed a hand over his heart in exaggerated pain. "You wound me, Rose Tyler."

Rose rolled her eyes and grinned. "Amazing isn't it that with you around there are so many flowers and plants that are related in one way or the other to…," Rose stumbled for the word, casting a furtive glance at the Doctor, "_dancing_". That makes, what, twenty in the past 10 minutes? I'll bet you're making this stuff up."

Jack shrugged. "I didn't choose where we landed. The Doctor did that. Can I help it which plants are here?"

"Uh huh," Rose replied, her tone clearly indicating she didn't believe him. "I think you're full of it."

Jack moved in close, his body nearly plastered to her front. "You want to find out for sure?" His voice sounded low and seductive.

"Oi," griped the Doctor, "we gonna stand here listening to mister hormone or we moving on?"

Jack sniffed indignantly and took an exaggerated step away from Rose. "That's Captain Hormone, thank you very much."

"Sorry," murmured Rose, returning to the Doctor's side and grabbing his hand. "Let's go!"

Momentarily appeased, the Doctor led the group further along the path, his pace more hurried than it had been before. Though his rough-hewn features were carefully schooled into nonchalance, a niggling suspicion in the back of his mind was growing into a full-blown concern.

The problem was that Jack had not been making up any of the sexual factoids he spouted. Everything he had told Rose thus far had been true, and the Doctor was beginning to suspect that the TARDIS had not landed them near the Extinct Plants of Earth exhibit as he planned, but had instead put them on a direct course for the…

They turned left following the very tall and green wall of hedge and stopped short. The hedge encircled a large patch of garden, artistically arranged around a series of statues. A series of naked statues. A series of naked statues of aliens in all shapes and sizes engaged in some form of procreation.

This was definitely not on the Doctor-planned tour.

The Doctor sighed deeply and ran both his hands over his close cropped hair. The TARDIS had ensured their path would take them through the Pleasure Gardens. Similar to the other flora they had passed thus far, each plant grouping contained a placard that listed the name of the vegetation as well as the planet of origin. In addition to this, however, each grouping also contained a statue that graphically depicted the act the plant aided.

Unbidden, his arms crossed in front of him and he glared at the garden, as if he could make it disappear through dirty looks alone. It wasn't that he was a prude; nine hundred years was a long time to get used to all kinds of things, even if he didn't engage in them himself. But the TARDIS blatantly pushing this agenda, one he was resolutely not going to pursue, made him angry. Sure, he and his ship had disagreed in the past, but never before had she gone to such lengths, especially after they had reasonably sorted matters.

No, this was nearly mutiny, and he briefly wondered if perhaps he had misunderstood her communication. His eyes flickered briefly over the nearest statue before discarding the notion like so much rubbish. There was nothing subtle about this message at all. He knew what she was up to, and somehow he had to make it stop before Rose got the idea he was some sort of intergalactic pervert.

Jack had practically dragged Rose further into the garden, leaving the Doctor to glower alone. The Doctor watched them in silence, noting Jack's delight and Rose's embarrassed curiosity. Her face was flushed and her movements uncertain, and she kept casting furtive glances at him, but she was not backing away. And why should she? Had not the Doctor told her there was a different morality out among the stars and that she should get used to it or go home? Unbidden, a small blossom of pride flowered within his hearts as he regarded his daft ape.

Jack and Rose moved to stand before a statue depicting a male Ratbor, a species known for having exceptional attributes. The two had been too far from him for any pieces of their conversation to reach him until now, and any smile that might have bloomed from his prideful thoughts died horribly as he heard their conversation.

"OK," giggled Rose. "That has to be an exaggeration."

"Not at all. The Ratbor are renowned throughout the universe for this reason. Those that choose to go into the service field are some of the best paid escorts in the universe."

"Escorts," Rose replied dully.

"I haven't ever been able to afford one myself, but one day…." Jack's eyes turned dreamy.

Rose gawped. "But that can't be physically possible. I mean, the females…to fit…" Her words trailed off as she tried to wrap her mind around the implications.

"The females are exceptional as well," Jack started, pulled from his fantasies. He quickly scanned the clearing to see if there was a comparable statue. "I guess that since the females don't need to use the flowering herb we see here, they decided not to include a depiction. Shame."

"Uh, yeah," Rose said. She tried to imagine what attribute the females would need, and boggled at what her mind told her.

"Guess it makes sense the males would use herbs. They'd have to in order to satisfy that kind of a woman." Jack waggled his eyebrows at Rose, trying to lighten the mood and ease her embarrassment. "Though I doubt I'd need such help."

His technique worked and Rose choked out a laugh. "You can't be that good."

"You won't know till you try," he added with a wink.

Rose laughed harder. "With you, I'd have to take a number!"

"Oh, Rosie. You, I'd put at the front of the line."

"Uh huh," she said with another giggle. Deciding she'd had enough of alien bits and pieces, she moved away from the statue and towards the Doctor.

"I'm serious!" Jack called after her.

Rose waved him off. "So," she said to the Doctor, "the TARDIS is still busted, yeah?"

The Doctor stared down into her brown eyes, amazed at this creature he'd had the good fortune to meet. Most people by now would have written him off as a connoisseur of alien porn and demanded to be taken home. Not his Rose. She trusted him completely, giving him the benefit of the doubt even when he didn't deserve it. He hoped he'd never take that trust for granted.

He reached out and grabbed her hand. "Yeah. Still broken." Some part of him, he knew, wasn't talking about the TARDIS.

Turning to retrace their steps, he called out to Jack, "Jack, pack it in! We're heading back."

A somber mood swept over the trio as they returned to the TARDIS. Jack walked slowly, taking in as many sights as he could before they left, while the Doctor seemed lost in his own thoughts. Rose watched the Doctor with a concerned eye, noting each time his brow furrowed, his eyes squinted, his ears flushed, or his hand squeezed hers. And each time she thought he needed it, she squeezed back.

Once inside the TARDIS, the Doctor picked up his favorite rubber mallet and purposefully advanced on the console. Rose and Jack shared a look before scurrying off into the depths of the ship where, hopefully, there would be safety.

The Doctor waited until his companions were out of the room, and then laid the mallet down on the metallic surface. Hands propped on the console, he leaned forward menacingly. The light of the time rotor reflected off the hard planes of his face giving him the appearance of a demon.

Not bothering with projecting his thoughts, he spoke to the TARDIS directly. "Cut. It. Out!" he demanded, his voice low and full of threat.

The TARDIS responded by sending him an image of Rose, wreathed in golden light, the Vortex dancing in her eyes.

"Right," said the Doctor. "This means war."


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

The Doctor was glad he did not have much hair; if he had, he would have likely pulled it out in great heaping handfuls by now. He had declared war with his TARDIS, and not only was he losing, he was having a real hard time remaining unaffected, though the Time Lord had certainly held out longer than any other male might have.

Pride in this knowledge was not sustaining him as his resolve started to crumble. He found himself wondering in unguarded moments what Rose tasted like, what her skin would feel like against his, what sounds she would make in the throes of passion. If he didn't get this resolved soon, he was going to crack. And the TARDIS was by no means fighting fair.

He had tried to take Rose to the intergalactic zoological park on Ockene. The TARDIS landed them in the Plavit beast habitat during mating season. He probably could have passed it off as something else, except for the fact that Plavit beasts had the loudest mating call in the known universe, not to mention the stink.

After that incident, he resolutely decided to always check the outside camera before allowing Rose to step foot out the door. The decision lasted roughly five minutes, until he tried to take her to the ancient Great Library of Alexandria. It was then he discovered that the TARDIS had shorted out the circuit for the external camera. When they exited the ship, they found themselves surrounded by shelves stacked to bursting with scrolls containing sex manuals from a wide range of ancient cultures; all of which the TARDIS happily translated.

In sheer desperation, the Doctor attempted to bypass the will of the TARDIS entirely and manually pilot the ship to their next destination. He didn't much care where the next destination was, so long as it had nothing to do with _dancing_.

In a flurry of motion, along with help from Rose and Jack, the Doctor managed to land the TARDIS…square in the middle of a brothel on some space station in the 51st century. The Doctor and Rose practically hog-tied Jack to get him back in the ship.

For now, all was quiet as they drifted along in the vortex. As far as the Doctor was concerned, they would stay in the vortex indefinitely until the TARDIS relented, or he regenerated from sheer frustration.

Jack and Rose had gone off to their respective quarters to sleep, and the TARDIS had considerately dimmed the lights. The time rotor glowed green, and in its murky light the Doctor could be seen, advancing cautiously on the console armed with a spanner, his face twisted with anger.

Before he reached the console, and was able to engage in some murderous tinkering, the Doctor heard the shuffle of socked feet. Turning, he saw Rose enter the room, one hand behind her back.

She was dressed in that ridiculous set of pajamas she had purchased shortly after starting their adventures. They were pink and covered with tiny green aliens and silvery flying saucers. For some odd reason, the Doctor found himself trying not to be offended.

Rose did not say anything at first; she was clearly building up the mettle to speak her mind. The Doctor felt sure he knew what she would say and both of his hearts quailed in fear. Positive she was about to tell him she wanted to go home, that she had no wish to travel with a dirty old Time Lord, he tried to brace himself for the hurtful words to come.

Rose bit her bottom lip, as if making a final decision. Though she was obviously nervous, the Doctor could tell immediately when she resigned herself to speak. She drew herself up, looked him square in the eye and said, "If you want to shag Jack, its fine with me."

The Doctor was so surprised he dropped his spanner. The noise it made as it clattered on the metal grating seemed inordinately loud. "Wha-?"

"I know you and the TARDIS share some sort of telepathy thing," she continued, waving her free hand at the time rotor, "and its clear you've got…well, you've got _dancing_ on your mind. And it's alright. Really."

The Doctor found his voice lodged somewhere near his stomach. "Rose-"

"I know I'm just a daft ape, and I could never understand what you've been through, but you don't have to be alone." Her words lanced right through him. "The TARDIS knows that, and so do I." Rose unconsciously drew her shoulders back and stood defiant before him, daring him to challenge what she knew in her heart to be true. "And if Jack will make you happy, then please-"

"Rose!" the Doctor said, cutting her off. The word came out more sharply than he had intended, and she flinched.

"I just want you to be happy," she said. Her gaze fell to her feet, and she shuffled slightly.

"What makes you think I want to… to dance with _Jack_?" the Doctor asked incredulously. She really had got the wrong end of the stick.

Her head shot up with the question. "Oh, come on," she said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, "the tension between you two is so thick you could cut it with a knife."

The Doctor could not stop the snort of derision that came from his mouth. "Not bloody likely. If I were to _dance_ with anyone on the TARDIS, it'd be-," he caught himself, barely. "Well, it wouldn't be Jack," he finished lamely.

Suddenly deciding there were repairs to make on the TARDIS that had to be done right this second, the Doctor reached down and scooped up the tool he had dropped. Two quick steps had him next to the console, an entire time rotor strategically placed between him and Rose. On automatic pilot, his hands began working with the various controls, even as his mind raced.

What the hell was he going to do when she figured it out? If she hadn't wanted to leave before, she would certainly want to leave now. He was too old and too tainted to touch someone so innocent, and Rose knew it. She would never want him; he was a far cry from being a pretty boy. And even if she did, what would he do when she left? Or found someone else?

As his hands worked, his mind churned, his nerves sung, and his hearts beat a fast and furious rhythm. And still he kept track of Rose. Glances at her around the time rotor meant he knew the exact moment she figured out his meaning. 'Course Rose was a bright girl; it didn't take her very long.

The change in her both delighted and terrified him. Her tongue popped out between her teeth, and she moved with predatory grace towards him. In her eyes burned a golden fire he had only seen in the images the TARDIS had sent him, and he blinked to be sure it was truly there and not some flight of his imagination.

The gold in her eyes seemed to intensify, and the Doctor gulped as he realized that he was the prey. Rose extended her free hand and ran it lightly along the metal of the console, slowly inching closer to him. With each step she took, the Doctor felt his nerves stretching tighter and tighter.

"So," she said, the syllables rolling off her tongue, "not Jack."

The sound of her voice snapped the Doctor out of his stupor, and he turned his attention to what his hands were doing. "No." he replied, taking a few steps out of range, doing his best to hold on to his resolve as she advanced.

"Hmmm," she said, merriment dancing in her golden brown eyes. "Mickey?"

He snorted even as he took a few more steps out of range. "I have higher standards."

She advanced. "Adam?"

His responding chuckle was dry as he retreated. "I don't dance with morons."

"People who ask if you're their mummy?"

"Free from the Oedipus complex, me."

Rose gasped with mock horror. "Not… surely not, the Slitheen!"

"Too green."

"Cassandra?"

"Too flat."

Advance, retreat. Advance, retreat. The atmosphere in the TARDIS felt sticky and humid, and he doubted it had anything to do with the temperature controls. Beads of sweat formed at his temples and rolled down the side of his face, and still they moved in circles. Round and round, Rose reaching out, him moving back. He wasn't sure how long he could keep this up. Even Time Lords had limits, and with the TARDIS and now Rose pushing, and pushing, and pushing….

"Rose, do you mind? I'm trying to…"

"Resonate concrete?" she asked, one disbelieving eyebrow cocked.

He could end this, he knew. It would only take a few carefully planned words. It would make him a bastard, but he'd be a safe, albeit cowardly, bastard. Yet, the words piled up behind his tongue, unwilling to go any further. His head told him it was because he didn't want to hurt her; his hearts said something else entirely.

Suddenly, Rose gasped sharply and stared at him with wide-eyed horror. The change in her demeanor was so abrupt that the Doctor felt his throat begin to close with panic. Had he waited too long? What if she read his mind? Had he slipped? Did she see his true nature? Would she leave him now?

Instead, Rose said shrilly, "You want to dance with my Mum?!" Her tone clearly indicated that this was the most horrid thing in the universe she could imagine.

If it was horrid for her, it was a veritable nightmare for him. The teasing was too much for a Time Lord teetering on the edge, and his hand tightened painfully on the wrench. His nerves snapped, and lightning coursed along his limbs, traveling at light speed for his hearts and causing him to shudder. The Doctor felt something inside his chest shatter, like a wall of ice splintering from a heavy impact. The sharp shards swept through his body, cutting and nicking the already tattered and scarred pieces of soul. He looked down at himself, half expecting to see blood.

With concentrated effort he relaxed his grip on the spanner and let it go. Slowly he straightened, his blue eyes burning like a sun.

He turned to face Rose. Her golden hair was tousled from sleep, hands were hidden behind her back, laughter twinkled in her eyes, and her mouth was turned upwards into a Cheshire cat grin. She looked like someone who had just told a very funny joke and was waiting for someone else to get the punch line.

"Rose Tyler," he said his voice rough and deep, "you have a very dirty mouth."

He lurched forward, pulling her roughly into his embrace and sealing his mouth on hers. There was a loud thump of something solid striking the floor behind her, but he was much too busy to care.

Senses in overdrive, the taste of her exploded on his tongue, assaulting his taste buds with a flavor that was uniquely Rose. Her reaction to his embrace was by no means passive and he could feel the shape of her body beneath the fabric that separated them as she pressed close, and the fine texture of her hair felt like silk to his rough and callused hands. When her arms went round him, he swore he could literally feel her pushing back the darkness in his hearts with her two small hands. In that instant, the Doctor knew without a doubt that he was doomed.

When they parted, his choppy breathing echoed her own. Both of his hands rose to cradle her face, and he stared into her eyes. "Rose-" he started, not entirely certain what he wanted to say, but knowing he had to make her aware of the dangers along this path.

She beamed at him, and pulled back slightly. She rummaged through the pockets on her jimjams, and withdrew a closed hand. "Here," she said softly, holding her closed fist out to him.

Curious, he stuck out his hand, palm up. Rose placed something small and soft into his hand and then pulled her own away. He looked at Rose first, trying to discern what she might be up to, but all he found in her smiling face was reassurance and something bright and warm he was not yet ready to name.

Glancing down, he saw nestled within his palm two slightly wilted and squished flowers, one violet, and one blue.

"Rose," he gasped sharply, "do you know what this means? Do you know what you are saying?"

She nodded, her tousled hair flopping with the movement. "'Course I do. I know I wasn't supposed to pick them, but I couldn't resist."

"I-"

Rose interrupted him. "I know you can't promise me forever. You know, 900 years and all that. But I can promise you. And I do."

She moved back into his embrace and put her arms around him tightly. "Whatever kind of forever I have is yours for as long as you want it. I'll never willingly leave you, and if I'm taken, I'll do everything I can to return to your side."

She tilted her head upwards and looked deep into his eyes. "So long as there is breath in my body, you don't have to be alone."

The weight of the promise sucked the air from his lungs. It was, quite literally, everything she had to give, and the courage it took to make such a promise shamed his cowardly hearts. Doubts still plagued him, but as he looked into her eyes he realized they were inconsequential. She would stand by him, and in that moment he vowed that he would return the favor.

He dipped his head and captured her mouth with his own, sealing the pact with lips and tongue. The kiss started as a reverent worship of his most exceptional Rose, but soon turned heated with weeks of pent up frustration. No Galifreyan mind tricks were necessary for each to communicate to the other; body language was enough. Of one mind, they began to slowly shift towards the doorway that led deeper into the TARDIS, each refusing to let go of the other.

Rose suddenly tripped, gripping his arms tightly to steady herself. Looking down, she saw the book she had dropped earlier. "Oh yeah," she said distractedly, and reached down to pick it up. "I almost forgot."

Rose hefted the volume up and the Doctor could see his native language scripted on the cover. His brows lowered dangerously. "Where did you get that?"

"The TARDIS chucked it at me while I was sleeping," replied Rose. "She wouldn't translate it for me, but the pictures were…um, interesting." A blush competed with the heated flush that already pinked her cheeks.

The Doctor snatched the book from her using the only free hand he had left, and whirled around to glare at the time rotor. An angry flush competed with a heated blush on his already pinked ears.

With his back turned and his focus on the TARDIS, he missed Rose casting a wicked smile in the direction of the time rotor. He also missed the conspiratorial wink.

"Well," Rose said, shuffling toward the doorway, "when you're ready, come find me, yeah?"

The Doctor glanced at her and gave her a small smile. "Be there in a minute."

Her tongue popped out between her teeth. "Don't keep me waiting too long," she said saucily.

"Never," he replied.

She tossed him a grin and then ran towards her bedroom. As the sound of her feet faded, the Doctor looked at the objects he held. The book he gave no more than a glance before tossing it into the jump seat, where Jack would no doubt find it later. The flowers he carefully placed on the console with the intent to preserve them later, perhaps in the morning.

Turning his face upward, he stared at the green column. If he didn't know better, he'd say the rotor had a smug glow about it. "The war is over," he said softly, glancing toward the doorway through which Rose had just disappeared, "and I think that maybe we both won, for a time at least."

The TARDIS hummed agreeably and the Doctor felt a wash of warm, golden contentment flow through his mind. His eyes closed briefly, enjoying this moment of peace and amiable accord with the consciousness that had been his constant companion for so long. It had been weeks since he had felt it, and it had been sorely missed.

But there were other things to attend to, and he didn't remain still for long. His eyes popped open and he patted the console affectionately before following Rose, his steps urgent. The smile on his face was a leer more suited to Jack's face than his own; yet it brimmed with uncharacteristic happiness.

Quiet filled the control room; the only sounds the gentle whirring of the great time ship. The soft echo of the ship was gradually augmented by a different sound, that of a faint and ancient song. Tendrils of energy trickled out of the console and within a few seconds the two flowers were engulfed in a golden radiance.

When the energy faded and the song ceased, the petals had rehydrated and were now smooth and silky, returned to their newly bloomed beauty. The stems had grown long and intertwined one with the other. The symbol of a pact drawn between a human and Time Lord had become like all things touched by the TARDIS, timeless.


End file.
